Hey jazbri:
I, too have a young child (7 years old) and this topic is very interesting to me.
I have found that many of the men I have spoken to regarding this issue, including my current boyfriend, his friends, and even his friends' fathers who married their moms (does that make sense?) state that the biggest conflict is dating a woman with a child who still has a relationship with the father of the child (as far as raising the child etc.)
Most men can't handle the idea of another man being "in" their relationship (i.e. phone calls, visits, etc.) For instance, I have heard from my boyfrien's best friend (he married a woman who had a child and now they also have two of their own) that is bothers him when he calls. Also, when he does call, he feels that the guy should ONLY ask to speak to the son, NOT the mom.
In another situation, his friend married a woman who had a child. Strange thing is the father and she got divorced and he did his "duites" as a dad but nothing TOO involved. After she began seeing Jay, he decided he wanted som "say-so." After they got married, she told him that she and the father had decided, together, that he should have NO say so in the little girl's life and no disciplining rights. Needless to say, he felt neutered and they got the marriage annuled (sp.) three months later. This is the guy whose dad married his mom when she had already had a son (they later had him). His dad agrees that he may not have been able to do it if the father had not been such a friggin' deadbeat. He HAD NO interest in the boy whatsoever, so it was "easy" for him to accept the responsibility of being the only dad the boy knew.
If for whatever reason the father is absentee, I think it is easier for men to accept a role of responsibility. I think it alse depends on the child's age. The younger, the better.
Sorry so long.
Same goes for women. A lot of women don't want to deal with...her goes...
baby mama drama! Sorry to say it that way, but some women are straight up loco and possessive.
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