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I wouldn't necessarily wear black to a funeral, but I would wear conservative clothes and no bright colors. If it was my funeral, I wouldn't care what people wear, and I don't think most of us would . . . it's more about not offending the relatives of the person. I think this is something that will be changing in the coming years, though. Black used to be off-limits for weddings and now people wear it all the time. I can imagine funeral dress ettiquette changing the same way.
As for ritual wear . . . I'm going to admit that my chapter is very, very easygoing about wearing white dresses. It's almost impossible to find white dresses in Wisconsin in November (initiation season), so if we required our initiates to wear white dresses we probably wouldn't be able to initiate them until May! We don't require white or even off-white clothes, just pastels. We don't require dresses; skirts will do. Shoes don't have to be white. I was initiated in a khaki skirt and a lavender sweater. This is probably against national policy (I don't really know), but it's really, really just not practical to require whites for everybody, let alone get more specific than that.
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