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Old 05-30-2003, 08:54 AM
pirepresent pirepresent is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2002
Posts: 309
I have to be honest here....

yeah, you COULD go the "forcing" way, using the FHOF... but I'll just tell you from experience, it causes boatloads of trouble and makes a lot of people extremely unhappy - including causing some people to want to disaffiliate (ie "if they try to make me live in, i'll just quit", etc, and that doesn't solve anything because then not only is the house not full but you lose a sister). in my opinion, trying to force or guilt-trip people into living in only causes more negativity surrounding the issue.... some people have honest-to-God reasons why they feel they can't or should not live in the house, and when you're pledging and excited about just starting your new member process, you don't really think about the FHOF form in terms of what it actually is - a major committment.

So you're in a tough spot, short term wise. We ended up being able to handle our housing situation without forcing people to live in (if you want details, PM me), but there are better ways to go about it in terms of the long run. Have an informational meeting that is mandatory during pledging, where sisters who currently live in come and talk to the girls about how great it is to live in, and REALLY REALLY stress the whole "pledge class unity" idea, by picking a year (usually junior) when the entire pledge class is supposed to all live in together. Talk about this A LOT. Repeat over and over and over during the pledge process that you live in junior year (or whatever year you pick). that way people don't sign other leases or get surprised by the whole FHOF thing (that was our biggest problem - we didnt find out until too late that we needed to fill the house and many of the upperclassmen couldn't get out of their leases, and we couldnt get housing exemptions for the underclassmen).

anyway, we're trying to organize that now - that's how other houses do it on my campus and they've had a ton of success with it (ie if a sisters chooses NOT to live in the house, she's kind of the odd one out). just make sure you keep driving the point home during the new member program - it is COOL to live in junior year. EVERYONE'S doing it.

short term, you could also try to start organizing fun social activities at the house, like sisterhood dinners and movie nights, etc, but make the girls who DONT live in clean up (ie if you live in you reap the benefits of having all your sisters around you, but you dont have to deal with the mess). talk a lot about how great it is (in an informal setting - try not to be too obvious about it) and try to minimize on the negative talk - i know not everyone gets along with everyone else and that makes living together tough, but try to get around that issue by talking about how much fun it is to be right in the middle of all your sisterhood activities, etc. good luck - if you need any more ideas let me know!

also, i just wanted to add again, on the negativity issue - try to talk to the sisters who chose to live outside the house about keeping their reasons why to themselves, especially around younger girls. i didnt live in, for similar reasons as others have mentioned, but you dont have to say that out loud to people who are thinking about living in.... it just reinforces everyone's negative opinion of it. ask the the sisters who aren't living in to just say "i wasnt able to live in, but i really regret not being able to" or "i really wanted to, but when an availability opened up, i couldnt get out of my lease" or something like that...

if you talk about it in a predominantly positive light, people are more likely to be more excited about it. same goes for if you trash-talk living in. moral of the story is, positive or negative, you'd be surprised how far the power of suggestion goes.

Last edited by pirepresent; 05-30-2003 at 09:03 AM.
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