[radioZTA]

This is a tale of following your heart instead of your head. I went through Rush twice.

I was "dirty rushed" the first year. As a freshman I was stuck on a sorority floor of a dorm (before my campus had sorority houses). All the older, i.e. graduating, members were really sweet and nice to me even though the younger ones weren't. One senior kept saying that I was going to be her little sis. During Rush, I really liked the Zetas but *knew* I was going to be in XXX. The day before pref, I was at the Zeta party, bawling my eyes out because I felt so at home but I asked them not to invite me back. I felt like the choice would be too hard to make between Zeta and XXX. I didn't get invited back to ANY pref parties because the senior that wanted me as her little sis was a Rush Counselor and had also told everyone I was going to join XXX.

At first I was so mad about having my chain yanked by XXX, for being so naive and especially for being afraid to take a chance on Zeta because of a "guaranteed" bid to another group. I look back now and am so relieved that I didn't join XXX. Because of my friendship with the older members, I missed a lot of warning signs about the rest of the group and I probably would have de-pledged. Turns out that some of the younger members of XXX on the dorm floor didn't like me because I saw them bringing lots of guys in and out after hours. The next semester, the majority of the members that I was friends with graduated and the younger members took over.

Things went downhill in their chapter after that. The members that lived in the dorm came home knee-walking drunk most nights. They should have had rehab rather than initiation. I had fun in college but these girls were really out of control. That year they were also busted for having drugs at one of their formals. (You could see a baggie of cocaine on a table in a couple of their party pix.) The president of their chapter and the president of campus panhellenic (a member of XXX) resigned their positions and then tried to blame the other sororities on campus for the incident. And if they had charged for the number of one-stands they continued to have, no one would have needed to pay chapter dues. You also were *encouraged* to change your hair color. Almost all the members became blonde, even the dark brunettes which looked really weird.

The next year I went through Rush with what I thought was an open mind, even towards XXX. At the end of the week I had cut them, got a couple of pref invites but on the bid card, I went "suicide" Zeta. I just felt so at home that I wouldn't have belonged anywhere else. My roommate, who was never interested in going through Rush, said she knew before Rush even started that I was going to end up as a Zeta because my closet was full of turquoise shirts. So much for an open mind.

Although every other XXX I've met as an alum has been super nice, I still have a hard time not resenting them as a whole because of the year I wasted not being a Zeta. My pledge sisters were great though so I'm glad I ended up with them. It's amazing how things work out.