Quote:
Originally posted by Exquisite5
I was not raised to believe this at all. To me, the typical black family is composed of a mom, dad and one or two kids- all living under the same house. This is my family, and that of many of my friends. I think you are basing your arguements on gross exaggerations.
People learn what they are taught. To that end, there is some validity to your summations, but to say the single parent household is the typical black family is not valid.
Men and women have shortcomings and we both need to work on ourselves before we can offer ANYTHING to anyone else. That is what I believe is the main problem with black America. We are so concerned with flossing and how things look that we fix the exterior before we fix the interior. So, everything looks like an Escalade on the outside, but in actuality its a broke-down, 68 Coupe De Ville on the inside. This causes problems because no one ever is aware that others are in need of help. Those needing help are too busy perpetrating- and doing it well- that people don't think to help them. Then when things fall apart- its unprecedented and unexpeced.
Also, due to a lack of fixing ourselves first- we bring kids into the world we can't care for because we can't care for ourselves. These problems transcend class, but are augmented by financial stress because financial stress is hard in ANY relationship. But even harder when the person(s) dealing with the $$ stress are not together internally.
After my last relationship I took two years to get ME in order. I am so much better and more equipped to offer my new mate all he deserves. Now when we meet we meet at a place of stability and can tackle anything. If we were falling apart internally, our "we" would only be the summation of our individual parts and not equipped to handle much together.
I truly don't believe its a man's lacking or a woman's lacking issue. It's an "I'm not together- whatever my sex- issue, so I keep attracting un-together people to me." It's not society- its personal bad choices.
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Even though that is your experience, statistics evidence a very different family experience for many people.
Percentage of all white families in the United States in 2001 in which both a husband and wife were present: 80.5%
Percentage of all African-American families in the United States in 2001 in which both a husband and wife were present: 47.9%
(U.S. Bureau of the Census)/JBHE Vital Statistics (
http://www.jbhe.com)