I am very sorry that you feel this way... I don't understand why your J board wouldn't let you take chapter status ?? If you haven't done it for a semester already you should have the chance. Maybe you could try writing to national and asking for alumnae status I know with extenuating circumstances such as illness and such they will often grant sisters alum status even though they have not finsihed their degrees yet, although I think having the support of the chapter would hel[p... you could talk to Ali about that , she might have some good advice
I am one of the older woman in my chapter so I know what you are talking about in that sense... but I don't think that it is wasing your time per se... I mean we do other things besides chant and you know that. I don't think this should be the end of your membership if you truly don't want it to be... talk to somemore people and see what it gets you.. get notes from your Dr if you need to stating your medical problems, dont lose heart, because, honestly it seems to me you have some more avenues you could explore.