[Lost]

Thank you all for the kind words, advice and support. I am truly overwhelmed and grateful.

I, too, was surprised at the harshness of the letter I received but upon further investigation, I found that another check that I had sent in recently was also insufficient. Our nationals are very slow to process things so I had not been notified yet. I'm drafting a letter to my HQ asking for an extension for repayment and am hopeful that it will be accepted.

My husband and I have talked and our financial situation is worse than I knew or had begun to suspect. For our personalities and circumstances, we had divided responsibilities within the household with some duties shared, of course. Since he made quadruple what I did, he handled our finances and I was happy to let him while I very slowly climbed my way up the corporate ladder. When things finally took off for me, we did some travelling, bought some luxury items and overextended ourselves in the process. I've had some medical issues lately and his income has gone down recently due to the soft economy. It finally caught up with us. He said he tried to get a handle on things but it spiralled downward and pride kept him from letting me know how bad it had gotten.

We're going to cash out one of our 401k's to catch up (we will still have two others) and are also going to a financial counselor to learn how to work together to manage OUR money. Fortunately, it isn't as bad as it could be but this was a real wake-up call for both of us.

For almost 15 years as an alumna, I've worked for my org freely and gladly in any capacity that was asked. I've been able to do things within my group and reach personal goals that may not have been open to me anywhere else. I had hoped to go on to a higher level but that may no longer be possible even if/when this situation is resolved. I'm still so mortified by the whole thing that I've seriously considered resigning my membership. I get nauseous just thinking about facing the national officers that know about this. Many of them are in my alumnae group or in the same state so it is hard to avoid them.

I have only heard from the one person in our main office via letter but it was supposedly copied to several others including the regional VP and the national president. If they can't see past an unfortunate set of circumstances, then it will be their loss. I'm going to do my best to pay my debts, make my apologies and hold my head high.

Thank you again.