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my little brother and i are known as the world's funniest drunks. when we drink together or apart, we always have funny stories to tell.
my little brother got totally smashed at a party and he didn't want my mom to know(she would kill us if she knew that we drank). so, he called me to come and get him. i go over to this party and ask 'where's topher?' i look around and spot his then-girlfrend, megan sitting on the floor outside of a room. i walk into the room and he's just sitting in a chair slumped over. his first reaction to me is that i'm my mother because we look and sound so much alike. . .he goes 'awww, s*, mom! don't whip me in front of my friends, okay?'
another scenario:
my little brother was in the area so he came over to party with me. i took him to an fraternity party at this bar. so, we're both drunk(i snuck him tequila shots through the guy i was liking) and he's talking to two girls when he says that he's got to go to the bathroom. they keep stopping him and dancing on him.
so, he calls my name really loud and goes, 'lexee, tell these girls that i got to go piss!' and i tap the girls on the shoulders and say 'hey, he'll be right back. . .and then, he's probably going to take one of you hos home. . .'
they gave me this weird mean look and i said 'well, since you're both the cute little whores. . .you both can go.'
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