[G8Ralphaxi]

OK, I haven't posted in a very long time, but just felt compelled to do so after reading several of these posts.

I was a member of the Alpha Xi Delta chapter at UF, rushing in 1996. I was very involved with the chapter, and knew a lot of our alumnae from the 1980s and earlier 1990s. My senior year was the last year we were active before our national's horrendously mismanaged attempt at recolonization.

(basically I'm just establishing that anything I say here is from my own first-hand personal observations, not the endless chains of hearsay and rumor upon which several of you are relying)

1. We did NOT try to blame any problems we had in 1990 on the Gainesville murders. At least not any of my sisters. Either the Alligator made that up, or they were misinformed by someone from Nationals who didn't know S*** about Gainesville or our chapter. (not the first time)

2. The AGR house is NOT appropriate for sorority rush. Fun bunch of guys, but the house is basically a collection of small concrete rooms. It is a small dingy house. If you tried to put more than 50 people in any of the common rooms, you'd have a problem. WTF is DZ supposed to do with 150 of their own members, then the 100s of rushees?

3. everything that has been said about UF being competitive is not true. IT'S WORSE THAN THEY HAVE SAID. let me tell you, it's a really fun experience to see my roommate, who was a rho chi, crying hysterically on Bid Day because several of the other rho chis told the whole rushee group that we were in trouble and being closed down. Not true.

The houses are all out for blood and pounce at the first sign of weakness. The only houses that I remember not showing this too much were the upper-upper echelon that knew their spots on the totem pole were pretty safe. The worst houses of all were the ones in the middle.

And forget being supportive of smaller houses. One of the previous Greek advisors (that charming guy who fled town after being "outed") actually told our chapter president that he wanted to improve UF's greek system by "weeding out" the weaker houses if they couldn't step it up, including ours.

4. Regarding our old chapter house...oh what a mess. I blame Nationals, and always will. Don't promise a chapter a house and not deliver. For years, the women in our chapter were promised a great house that would compare to others at UF. Then, when construction started, for some reason the 3 story house that was planned was suddenly only 2 stories, and the back wing was not going to be built. We didn't have a chapter room, and the residential areas were not up to par. Definitely the smallest bedrooms of any sorority house on campus. The entire house was one big illustration of low-bid construction. Somehow in between the planning stages and the construction, someone had decided that we weren't worthy of a better house.

So now visualize rush in the late 1990s - you are rushing and have just been to XYZ, and they have a huge, beautifully decorated chapter house, large sprawling front lawn, rich wood furniture, nice bedrooms, etc. Then you come see our house, with the folding tables in the dining room and the closet sized bedrooms.

Every year, we would work really hard to get sisters to live in the house, and have to do a lottery to fill the house. Without fail, several would get picked in the lottery and decide to either go ahead and pay rent but refuse to live there or to just give up and turn in their pins. Let's think about this - either way, morale is screwed up. Paying rent for a room you don't use causes resentment, and losing a sister for something like housing is such a headache. Plus, as many of you know, if one person leaves, it makes it that much more likely that their best friends in the house may leave one day too. Many other houses on campus had waiting lists, sisters desperate to live in the house.

If you are going to build a house that has NO CHANCE of competing at UF, DON'T build it. Wait, save more money, make a new plan, or just never build at all. For the sake of the new DZ chapter, I hope that their chapter builds them a beautiful house that is worthy of them.

5. NOW...as to all the lovely speculation and rumors about why we closed down...

NONE OF YOU WERE THERE. NONE OF YOU WERE EVER MEMBERS OF MY CHAPTER. Even those of you that "think you know something" because you know an Alpha Xi that's still in undergrad at UF, YOU DON'T KNOW. There were many events that happened right before I joined and during my first few years that effected things more than anything at the end.

None of our troubles were ever related to anything disciplinary, EVER. We were never on any kind of probation, either with UF or Nationals.

We were a great chapter. When I rushed, I was struck by how real and genuine everyone was. This was a wonderfully enthusiastic group, the exact definition of what everyone on this website says a sorority is supposed to be. When I joined, we were just under chapter total, and were a very close-knit, fun group.

Then, in between my freshman and sophomore year, our new Regional Advisor (who shall remain nameless, although she really doesn't deserve that courtesy.) decided that we weren't doing things just right. She had driven our Membership VP (aka rush chair) nuts all year, and finally abused her so badly (refusing to approve even minor details and lying about budgets) that the girl finally quit. Turned in her pin and took a whole group of people with her. Then our charming Advisor handpicked the new MVP - a sophomore who had never been through rush on the sorority side before. I think she picked that girl because she thought she could push her around.

So basically, rush my sophomore year was sheer chaos. Everyone came back from summer still hurt that the old MVP had been run off and most of the girls who had left were supposed to live in the house - a sudden loss of a couple $1000 in rent funds.

Now let's throw all that in the psycho rumor mill at UF. Oh man, rush was fun that year.

basically, we spent the next few years trying to recover from that one disastrous summer. Every time we turned around, something else went wrong. Our fun fun advisor kept adding new restrictions - ones that other chapters at UF, or even other Alpha Xi chapters never had. Try explaining to new members why they can't go to that fraternity event, or we can't have functions outside of Gainesville, when all their friends in other sororities can.

We weren't allowed access to our own money, but then she would push the House Corp into spending $1000s on things we didn't want or need. (we got new wallpaper even though the stuff that was there was only 2 years old and still fine, new tablecloths that were so shoddily made that they were ruined the first time they were washed, new plants but they refused to fix the sprinklers so they died, etc.)

This charming lady actually personally pursued several sisters and tried to drive them out of the house, sometimes successfully. These were sisters who had done nothing wrong except dare to speak back to this dragon lady. Again, every time someone leaves there's a domino effect - others consider leaving with them, and those that are left feel hurt.

So now we have a genuine numbers problem. We beg Nationals for help. They sent us one little lonely advisor my junior year - a chick who had just graduated, had ZERO advising experience, and spent hours on her computer emailing her buddies. The girl had the intelligence of your average houseplant. She also charmingly kept telling us that when she rushed, Tri Delt was her first choice, but Alpha Xi was ok so she stayed. Thanks for the inspiration, you retard.

We found out later that alumnae had been wanting to send us money or come volunteer, but our favorite b***h advisor had been telling them not to, that we "weren't deserving of such help yet." We finally caught on because one of the ladies to whom she said such things was the grandmother of an active sister.

In the end, we spent about 2 years working like crazy trying to help our numbers, through rush and COB. Uphill battle all the way. Even during rush, they WOULD NOT let us select our own sisters. The last 2 years, they completely took over and wouldn't let us drop girls with toxic personalities and made us ask back embarrassing numbers. Those of you that know UF know that you can't ask back everyone - it just looks bad. We wanted to drop the rushees taht didn't fit with the personality of the house, or were clearly going elsewhere. Why look desperate by asking back rushees that would not be happy with us, and risk turning off rushees who would?

Finally, during my last semester as an undergrad, we voted to close ourselves down. We took a chapter vote, and told our nationals that we were NOT going to try anymore to bring any more sisters into our chapter. We voluntarily closed ourselves down at the end of the semester.

I'm not meaning to sugarcoat things - all of these problems did cause stress within the house. The sisterhood within the house were obviously affected by all of these events. But, even to the end, we had something good going on. My best friend in the entire world is a sister. Despite everything, I don't think I would trade it for anything. I just wish some of the external stresses hadn't so adversely affected the chapter.

...ok that's it. a rather long rant, but cathartic for me. I've been in Gainesville straight since 1996 (in grad school now), and every single time my house has been mentioned in the last 3 -4 years, it just seems that no one has the story right.

G8Ralphaxi
proud member of the Zeta Omicron Chapter of Alpha Xi Delta