AsianMoon, first, I am a very forgiving person. It is something that my parents have always instilled in me. My mom has been a minister ever since I can remember, and one of her favorite things to say to us is, "If God can forgive you for your sins, what makes you think you're too good to forgive?" I used to be like you...having a problem with letting things go...but I have grew older and wiser and have realized that when you don't learn how to let things go, whatever it is will eat at you until it all but drives you crazy.
Secondly, yes he cheated on you...which I see as
temporarilyusing bad judgement and a blatant disregard/disrespect for your feelings but that's all it is. I have always wondered about women/men who actually believe that their significant other, who has been deeply in love with them for years,
all of a sudden doesn't love them anymore because they cheated
. Because a man...and pardon my vulgarity...sticks his penis in another woman does not equate to him falling out of love with
his woman. SO...because he cheated doesn't mean he wants the relationship to end...but because you're ego/heart/feelings are hurt at the time you find out...you consciously make a permanent decision to sever the relationship all together. If you can forgive and try to work it out when you're married, you can work it out if you've been with this man for 4 or 5 years.
[This message has been edited by Sexy Mocha (edited August 23, 2000).]