Sexy Mocha...you must be a forgiving person. As for what you said about questioning how much I really loved him in the first place if I could leave him...HE cheated on ME. There are a lot of things I can forget (coming over late, cancelling plans,white lies etc.) because you right, we are human and make mistakes. Sometimes mistakes are forgivable but regardless, we must all be accountable for our actions. They have consequences and I think his ass should have thought about that before he laid down w/ another women! (Chile, don't get me started
) When someone cheats they have the intention of not getting caught. And someone who does't care about the consequences doesn't care about you.
I have to say that my answer is twofold...if we were just dating 4 mo. or 4 years I would leave him...in my personal opinion, we have no future left to build on. I could not marry a man who cheated on me. Why start a marriage with such a rocky past? And by forgiving and forgetting I feel I am leaving too much room for him to test my limits.
Now, if I was married, which I am...I would like to say I would TRY to work it out. The operative word is TRY. I took vows and I take my marriage very seriously. If that means counseling or moving to the cornfields of Iowa away from all Black women, hey, that's what we'd have to do. That would be after a whole lot of being mad and hurt and feeling betrayed. My husband and I have talked about this before and he said that he doesn't think that I would be able to get over it and I would leave because I don't let things go. I think he is right. I can forgive but I can't forget.
[This message has been edited by AsianMoon (edited August 23, 2000).]