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Membership selection is a shared responsibility of all members--both active and alumna. Of course an alumna whose daughter has been released has the right to respond--but she doesn't have the right to ruin her daughter's potential happiness in pledging another sorority.
It's a good thing that you are happy with DPhiE policy, as I am happy with Kappa's policy on legacies and on the respective roles of actives and alumnae.
According to KKG Fraternity Policies, "Active members have the responsibility for selecting members of their choice; alumna members have the privilege of providing reference information on qualified young women."
This is one reason why it's great that each of the 26 members of NPC get to set their own rules with regard to membership and legacies...because I would not want Kappa actives to be "forced" to take legacies and to go to the lengths that one poster described as "purposely incurring recruitment infractions to get the girl to drop."
I am proud that Kappa believes in the integrity and character of its actives enough to trust that they can determine who is best suited to share the next 4 years with them....and that chapter advisers can help guide them to see what has helped Kappa to endure for the last 133 years...and what will help it endure for the next century (at least!).
And when/if I do have a daughter who goes through recruitment, I will remember to keep my mouth shut about what she is/is not entitled to from Kappa, and I will (though it may kill me) be fair enough to HER to make sure she knows that I will be equally happy no matter what sorority she pledges--or whether she pledges no sorority at all.
And may the Lord strike me down if I reverse myself, should Kappa ever release a daughter of mine, I will never make such an a$$ of myself as to demand an explanation about what happened
in the process of recruitment. I will trust my daughter and my SISTERS enough to know that in the end, it wasn't meant to be.
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