Quote:
Originally posted by sorority belle
I know a freshman who was cut from a sorority where she was a double legacy (Mother, Grandmother & Aunt all were this--all maternal btw) and had 5 recs written for her (mother's and aunt's sorority sisters and alumni groups were DETERMINED for this girl to get into this sorority). Worse yet, the girl's mother was a member of the same CHAPTER (went to the same college) that cut her!
The school this girl rushed at did rush through 4 rounds--Intro night, Philanthropy, Song & Skit, & Pref Night. The girl kept "preffing" her mother/grandmother/aunt's sorority first [because she REALLY liked it, she said!] and was invited back to rounds 1, 2, and 3. She did not get an invite to Pref Night.
I know that we try not to cut legacies if possible, but that if we invite a legacy back to pref night, we have to offer them a bid. Obviously the girl wasn't invited back to Pref Night and didn't get a bid from them.
However what was so disheartening about the whole story is that the girl told her mother that she felt like she had been treated unfairly at that sorority in the first place. She really liked the girls she knew there and had a lot of friends that ended up going there, however she ended up only being able to go to about 5 minutes of round 2 (it lasted 35 minutes) because she had class until late in the day and rush started earlier. Apparently the Panhel at her school "arranged" her schedule (along with others in her predicament) but she still felt like her mother's sorority members "didn't want her there" even though she liked them.
I guess this story just pi$$es me off because it is a classic example of turning an entire family against the Greek system. The girl's mother, who was a big contributer to her sorority's nationals, has since almost entirely quit donating. Same thing for the girl's aunt. Their alumni chapters, which organized recs for the girl, are wondering what course of action to take (i.e. letter to Nationals? etc).
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Just an illustration of why Kappa does not send letters to alumnae about their cut legacies. I realize that in this senario, it sounds like she told her family herself, but supose for a second her family got a call about it, and she had planned to keep it secret.
What may not have been said in this situation:
-The girl really didn't care about this house. She kept on putting them first, or saying she put them first, but really was hoping she wouldn't get them. She's happy at her new house, but her family is driving her crazy with their strong reaction.
- The girl really, really wanted this house. She was hurt, but by getting a chance to lick her wounds, she'd calm down and grow to love her new house. She really would just have preferred her relatives forget about it. However, now she's sure the group that cut her knows about the fit her family is throwing. She worries that they think she put her family up to it. She's ashamed to face any girls from that house, and really hates it, because her math class is full of them.
I know if my family were going to throw a fit like that, I'd keep quiet about being cut for my own sake. Therefore, I support and entirely agree with privacy for the legacy going through recruitment being considered over courtesy for the member.
I also thought that it might potentially be a scenario where she cut them and lied about it. She knew her family would have a cow that she cut them, so she decided to get them off her back and let them think she was cut. Hence, no cut= no legacy letter.
I personally think the moral of this story is that families should lay off te pressure to go to one house. It really is her decision; she has to be able to live with both the group she chooses and the house that supposedly cut her.