Quote:
Originally posted by PM_Mama00
I hate to agree with you, but you are telling it like it is. But I don't agree with all you girls posting shit like this. This thread was meant to boost people up and all you've been doing is making people feel like shit! Take your posts elsewhere.
Sorry for the vulgarity, but I'm starting to get really pissed.
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First of all, I want to point out that I am not "one of the skinny girls" who kept coming here before and posting obnoxious stuff.
On one hand, I can see where you're coming from -- but on the other hand, I don't think it's a good thing to baby people, even if it is an issue they're sensitive about. And I say this as a person who has struggled with eating disorders for years and therefore is very sensitive about weight issues. There's a difference between being supportive and being unrealistic. And when you're unrealistic, that more unsupportive than supportive because you're building up their hopes too high and setting unrealistic expectations which, when they don't succeed or those ideas are somehow broken, hurt all the more.
First of all, I think some people are failing to make the distinction between "overweight" and "obese." I know very attractive, very athletic, very fit women who are naturally "overweight." I think it's less likely (though not impossible, of course) that you will find obese women who fall into the same category.
Furthermore, I did not say that nobody would ever find a 260 pound woman attractive. I didn't say that she couldn't be pretty, that no one would ever think she's sexy, that no one would ever love her, that she was unworthy, that she was lazy, or that she was a bad person. I simply said that many people would probably find her more attractive if she weighed less. The same goes for a very skinny girl -- somebody who weighs 85 pounds, unless they're very short with small bones, is probably going to look more attractive if she puts on some weight. That's why Calista Flockhart is not a sex symbol, and neither is Starr Jones . . . but Jennifer Lopez is. Let's face it: we all have a weight that we would look ideal at (whether higher or lower than where we're at), and most of us are not at it. But it shouldn't be something that consumes our whole lives, or we will all be miserable. I spent years struggling because I thought I would be gorgeous at 96 pounds. What I couldn't see at the time was that I was already bony by the time I hit 115.
I can see how my post might not have belonged in this thread, and I'm glad you pointed that out -- there are better places for it. Still, I don't think it's "supportive" to be telling someone lies just because you think they can't handle the truth. Because in cases like that, when the truth comes out (and it always will), they will just trust you even less because of it and feel worse about themselves because of it because they couldn't accept themselves the way they are.