Having been both fat and skinny, and having gotten crap about both, I know how both sides feel. I'm 5'7". Normally, I don't go off numbers on a scale to judge whether anyone is skinny or fat since there are so many factors - muscle, frame, how you carry the weight, etc. Anyhow, at my heaviest (about a year and a half ago), I was 245 and a size 20-ish. Right now, I'm around 140 and a size 9/10 (8 depending on the cut of any bottoms...I don't have much of a butt). This is the smallest I've been since 6th grade or so (and I'm 22 now).
When I was heavy, I was miserable. Guys and girls both teased me left and right. And I fully believe that women are harder than each other than guys are on us overall, but it's about equal when fat. Both sexes look at you like they're disgusted, both make rude comments, and both are equally bad about saying this stuff to your face. However, I think many girls (myself included) take criticism a lot harder when it comes from guys. When you're heavy and guys make fun of you or call you ugly or jokingly ask you out to make fun of you in front of their peers, it SERIOUSLY messes with your self-image. Not to throw my own pity party, but my best friend for a few years in high school was a guy, and he would hug and flirt with all his other female friends EXCEPT for me. He was embarrassed since I was fat. I ended up telling him off, but that's beside the point. Most if not all people want to date and have romantic relationships and eventually fall in love and find the right person, but when you're overweight and guys have always pointed out how unattractive you are, you start to think you'll never be good enough and never find someone, and that's very depressing. I always assumed I'd never meet anyone because no guy would ever be able to look past my weight, and planning to live the rest of your life alone is never fun. And it harmed some of my friendships since I would've killed to be any of my female friends who was at a normal weight and they had the chance to live the life I could never have.
So, anyhow, I'm now 100 lbs or so lighter, and I'm still pissed off at people. Hopefully this doesn't come across as, "Poor me, I'm skinny now and hate it, *sniff sniff*," because that's not my intent. All these people who knew what I used to weigh treat me so differently, including family members who were supposed to love me no matter what. They all act like I'm a better person now that I'm skinnier, and that's crap. Same with guys I knew from school. Suddenly I'm worthy of their time. And now, I have people telling me I'm too skinny and need to gain weight, which also pisses me off. Guys actually pay attention to me now, and it's weird. People at work ask me all the time why I eat so healthy and complain that it makes them feel bad, but they don't know what it took to get this thin. My friends throw fits if I complain about how I look because I make them feel fat. I know that if I mention to a lot of people that I think I still need to lose weight, they throw FITS (and for the record, it's because I want a flat stomach....the weird thing about losing a lot of weight is when you're close to being done, it's not distributed evenly anymore, so I, for example, have the vast majority of the remaining flab right on my stomach). And all the damage to my self-esteem that was done when I was fat is still there, so now I have the people ragging on me because of how I am now and the leftovers from the ragging on me because I was fat. It got to the point where I completely lost it, and now I'm on anti-depressants to hopefully get rid of some of that crap and start working through all of it.
I've definitely noticed now that girls are a lot harder on each other when you're skinner than guys are. I have yet to talk to a guy who has a problem with my size, and for some reason, they like touching my gut flab. Who knew? However, I know if I was to wear a bikini, all these women would DEFINITELY have something to say about it because I don't have the stomach for it. While it's not the case when you're really heavy, guys tend to be more forgiving as a whole than other women are.
The point is: people can be crappy whether you're fat or skinny or somewhere in between. The only thing you can control is how you treat yourself and others. Take your frustration and use it to try to understand where others are coming from and treat them with kindness and respect, whatever size, race, religion, gender, etc. they are. And you need to love yourself, no matter your size, before you can really love anyone else. When you make peace with your body and give yourself a break, the confidence you gain will come through and other people will be attracted to that.
And if other people have a problem with you, you don't need anyone who brings you down. So tell them to kiss your ass.
