DISCOGODDESS SAID:
I am inspired by your story, Soror ChAKAlate, but I don't think by glorifying teen pregnancy and single parenthood we are helping to alleviate it, either. And I think we glorify it when we accept single moms on the undergrad level, regardless of age, and have sorors (and other greek women) parade their kids around at step shows, service
events, etc. What are we saying to young girls when we do this? That "hey it's okay to get pregnant, becuase I did it and still got in to a sorority"?
Soror no one is glorifying teen parenthood. I wish I had waited until I was older..like another young lady said people who have children early are the first to tell people to wait.
But we must face reality..the reality is that teens do have sex..whether we like it or not. I think it is commendable when young woman wait until they get married to have sex..if you did more power to you. But what do we say to those who choose to do otherwise, what do we say to those who did get pregnant, that their life is over. That they are ruined and fallen women. I am not proud of the fact that I made the unfortunate mistake of giving birth at an early age but what I am proud of is the fact that I did not let that mistake hinder me.
Soror I must say your understanding of our sisterhood is a bit different of mine..I didn't think the underlying requirement of our sorority was NOT to be a single mother. I thought that were more important considerations to make when we were selecting young women to be part of this prestigious organization. Aren't there more important ethical and moral standards?)
DISCOGODDESS SAID:
Not everyone can/will do as you and blutheatrics have done, so I don't think it's wise to hold up these examples, however inspiration and impressive they are.
I must differ I think it is wise to hold up myself and others as an example because you must remember that we are human..that none of us is perfect that we all make mistakes whatever there form. For those who do make the mistake of being a single parent it is important for them to know that the image of single parents as welfare queens is nothing more than a stereotype that there are women who hurdle that roadblock and overcome it. Why would any soror be ashamed to call a woman such as that soror? I mean I understand why you would think or even assume that an AKA women is "perfect." I mean it is hard to believe that an Alpha Kappa Alpha woman is not perfect because we come so damn near. (Smile..how do you put those smile faces in) But let's put conSkeetedness aside for a moment.
DISCOGODDESS SAID: AND I think that mothers need to focus on the studies and family and working for their community. They don't need a sorority to do that.
First of all I think it is presumptious for you to think that you know what teen parents should be doing that you can decide the appropiate measure of what a mother can handle in or out of college. But then you have the right to your own opinion. I don't know maybe you have forgotten the tremendous burdens that Black women have shouldered in this country..burdens that make single parenthood ad balancing student life seem trivial indeed.
DISCOGODDESS SAID:
I just don't understand why people feel entitled to join a sorority, A NON-ESSENTIAL, NOT REQUIRED part of the college experience. You aren't owed membership just because you're doing what you chose to do-be a mother, student, worker, etc. You can't be denied something you aren't owed in the first place.
The above comments I assume are directed to those who are aspiring to membership. Because I have already proven that I am worthy of the privilege to be called a soror. Fortunately for myself and many others there are woman in our organization who do not think like you and look at other attributes besides a person's status as a parent to decide whether they are worthy to join an organization.
DISCOGODDESS SAID:
I'm saying that being in a sorority is not a right, it's a priviledge, and that those who choose new members to carry the torch should look carefully at the message they send when they choose people who CHOOSE certain life situations. Single motherhood is one of those situations, but I feel the same about academic mediocrity, sexual promiscuity and undignified behavior.
In regards to those comments I admit they are hurtful. It is hurtful to think that a soror thinks that you are unworthy to carry the torch. That they let single parenthood blind their judgements of someone's worth as a member of this organization. But then that is your opinion. You said that when people choose who to carry the torch they need to think about the message that they are sending.
I would like to think the message that my big sister were sending is that my worth to be a member of this organization was more than my status as a single parent. I am glad that THEY thought it was a privilege I deserved.
To those who have children and are interested all I can say is that their are sorors out there who will still consider your merit to join this organization despite your status as a single parent.
To all my sorors and other ladies in the California areas, including the other single parents that responded who responded hit me
up I would love to talk to you. Try me at ChAKAlate2@blackplanet.com
Note: I wonder do people feel the same way about men. Should men not be allowed to pledge if they have a girlfriend pregnant or when they are fathers? Double standards kill me.
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Aim for the moon,.... if you miss you'll be among the stars.
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