I'm the first in my (immediate) family to complete college and the first overall to go to complete grad school. I definitely can relate to the pressures and the attitudes that were described.
Though I'm not making a lot of money (still a student), I am expected to pay for things in the family disproportionately. I don't mind this, since they've sacrificed a lot for me to get here. I just don't like having to take care of my (ungrateful) OLDER brother!!
I often feel like a reject because I don't have kids and because I'm usually single. I never considered it a problem. I learned to cope without a man so that if I found one, he could only add to my happiness (not create it). I assumed that I would either be a single mom or just enjoy life without children. A few years ago, I found out I was pregnant. I thought my family would be disappointed in me since I was unmarried. They practically rejoiced! I was very confused
, but this does put things in a better perspective. (I later had a miscarraige)
Unfortunately, a lot of people get insecure when they find out that I'm getting a PhD-- friends and family especially. This is what bothers me the most. The main reason I push myself so hard is so that I can do work that I believe will be beneficial to a larger amount of people. Also, this is what I love! Why should I have to apologize about that?
On a happier note, I am in a relationship with a man who is not college educated, but is very smart regardless. He is not at all insecure with my path. In fact, he is the most encouraging person in my life. Although we've talked about marraige, I often find myself double-checking my intentions. I want to make sure how I feel has nothing to do with the pressures I get from people who want me to find someone "more on my level" (WTF!). Also, I don't want to be influenced by those people who want me to hurry up and start a family just to be more "like everyone else".