This ish is hilarious - but so true!
I got some, too.
DON'T: ask me every 10 second when am I gonna cum...you mess up my concentration, and then I probably won't at all
DON'T: ask for a bj...if I feel like giving you one, you'll know...trust me....and especially don't ask for a bj in the middle of a normal, nonsexual conversation taking place nowhere near a bedroom
DON'T: wake your girl up for sex in the morning when you KNOW she's not a morning person...especially if you know that I will be pissed if I am awake before noon on a Saturday...if I am pissed (not to mention half-comatose), I am probably not horny...and if you still insist on waking me up, it better not be by poking me with your morning wood
DO: feel free to rub my back or play with my hair if I am going down there...just don't PUSH on my head...some girls have very sensitive gag reflexes, ok? We're not all Lil Kim with her "ill deep throat"
DO: look me in the eyes
and the number one thing that KILLS me:
If it looks like I am really enjoying it and I may be close to glory, DON'T suddenly change position, angle, speed, ANYTHING!!! Not only will I not cum, but I will be pissed that I got so close and then you screwed it up!!!
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My god, we're geniuses. This should be published.
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