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I don't think you have too much to worry about. Why is it that you think that EVERY PNM will know that it's the ATO house the girls are rushing out of, and that ATO is one of the best fraternities on campus . . . yet you also think that NONE of the PNMs will know that Delta Zeta just colonized last year and are planning on building a house? Just remembering how gossip got around in my rush group, if DZ claims it's their house but even ONE rushee knows that it isn't, by the end of the first round of parties, ever girl in her rush group will know that it's not, and they'll all cut the group for lying. I would hope that DZ would be smarter than that, and I'm sure they will be.
The whole Panhellenic rule that fraternities should not be associated with the sororities that are participating in formal rush IS problematic . . . still, I think this is the fairest option. I don't think you should worry too much.
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