I grew up near New Orleans too. My school offered charm lessons as part of our curriculum and it was a lot of fun. Where I live now, cotillion is a BIG deal for girls and boys. Starting in the 4th grade, sometimes younger, they begin with the table graces and then they get into ballroom dancing.
Edited to add - My biggest Belle-ism is that I NEVER drink from a can if I can help it. I always ask for a glass if one is not offered at first. I also agree about the white shoes and linen. Red shoes get me too. Every time I see a pair, I remember my great-grandmother saying that red shoes are for children and whores. Although, I do have some red sandals.
A Belle is born. It is something that you ARE whether you are from Charleston or Saskatoon. It is about true style, class, and grace. Your outward appearance can change but it truly is a state of mind.