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smiley -
everything you just said in your last post is exactly what i went through. and BSP_Nicole is right, none of us want to take pills and talk to a therapist, but it is necessary in order for us to live a normal functioning life.
the night i tried to kill myself i had zero control over my thoughts. it all started when i was at work that day and i just started getting really sad, cried a little, but had to try and hold it back. when i got home i got a phone call from one of my sisters who was really upset with something i had done. she yelled at me and made me start crying again. i got off the phone and just couldn't stop crying, thinking, or feeling like i couldn't go on. the thoughts just flew through my head faster than i could handle. then i just kept having one repetative thought go through my head. i had to stop it. i had to stop all of the pain and the thoughts and the saddness. i had enough consciousness to call my friend who ended up saving my life.
here are a few questions:
1. are you having trouble sleeping? or are you sleeping all the time?
2. do you have a loss of appetite? or do you eat all the time?
3. do you sometimes feel like you don't want to even get out of bed ?
4. do you cry at the drop of a hat? (yes, cuz you just said that in your last post)
5. is your life being controlled by your moods?
6. can you see a future to your life? do you feel there is nothing more for you?
the first two questions indicate a physical imbalance of chemicals. the rest of them indicate that you really truly are emotionally depressed and need to seek help.
i know you don't want your mom to find out, but that's even something that the therapist can help you deal with. your therapist can even mediate a session between you and your mother.
i'm scared to see what will happen if you let this go untreated. please get help, if not for you, then for your family.
shelley j
sigma k
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