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One of the things in my chapter that is a HUGE rule of thumb is to NOT force yourself to cry... we always have a few girls who shed a few tears at our ceremonies, and that usually brings it on for the PNMs, but we don't condone forced crying... and if you aren't forcing yourself, but a few tears slip out, we encourage our members to try and keep the sad bawling to a minimum! It looks so much more, well, childish, when someone can't keep their composure at all, but extremely touching to a PNM if she understands why you're crying... that's what got me!
Another thing that gets a PNM is a little note during the ceremony from a member who knows her, who met her and likes her, but isn't preffing her. We do this, even though the PNMs can't take the notes, but we let them know we'll save it for when they accept their bid. This is another thing that really made me feel special!
Finally, if your chapter does any sort of ceremony for Pref (typically does), try to include the member as much as possible. We stand up for our ceremony and instead of leaving the PNMs just sitting there alone or standing alone, we pull them in close to us, making them feel more like a new member, and allowing them to actually "feel" the sisterhood... I know that sounds really, really cheesy, but it makes them more comfortable when they feel included!
Hope this helps!
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