If I could go back...
* I would beg my father to stay on Okinawa instead of begging him to return to the states, only to move to hell on Earth.
* I would make my stay in hell on Earth a little better; made more of an effort to make friends more quickly and get involved sooner (than I did).
* I would not have allowed my parents to buy me that new car when they did. Instead, I should have bought a used car or just waited to get one until I was in college (or out of college).
* I would not start working...or at least quit my job before the beginning of my senior year in HS.
* I would not get involved in a relationship my senior year in HS.
* I would stay with my family in N.C., our new duty station, and attend UNC, instead of returning to Arizona.
* I would not let college overwhelm me and I would have majored in pre-med and minored in dance (possibly majored in it too).
These are my major issues and they're effecting me. I had a horrible night (the other night) just thinking about these things. It took me hours to fall asleep. I know that I can't change things. I know that I can't go back. I tell myself this. But sometimes it makes me so angry that I was so blind or that I didn't take control of my life. And it's hard to let it go or put it behind me b/c these decisions are effecting me now.
Thanks for letting me vent a little. This was a bit cathartic.
