A friend and I had this very discussion last week....why does a man cheat???
This pretty much goes along with what James said (damn, I am agreeing with you ALOT this week
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My friend I was discussing this with was a man, that has had several long-lasting affairs-----I happen to agree with all of this....
A man does not cheat because his cock is small--or because of self-esteem--- it very well could be because the she does not fulfill all his needs. (and vice versa for the woman who cheat)---I don't mean SEXUAL needs--- any type of needs, be it emotional, financial, or sexual. Cheating/Affairs do not start because of someone wanting sex--they start for other reasons--- to fullfill something they are lacking with their current partner. In trying to fullfill that missing piece, sex happens--thus leading to the affair. If life was perfect-- your partner made you feel wonderful, provided for you in everyway--put you in a position that you would never seek out another human--then you would not be put in a position to cheat, you would be with your partner and not with someone else. Cheating is not about SEX--it is a result of something else!!!!
And to answer the question, forgive and forget-- or accept and move on----- depends-- you would have to be willing to forgive and forget--- biggest piece there being forget. We can all say we forgive--but can you forget. If you cannot forget then, then going forward your relationship will only have problems. It is a tough call--- if you move on--was the relationship not worth saving to begin with. If it is worth saving and you forgive and forget--what happens the next time--- you know the old saying "first time shame on him, second time shame on you"
Really it is a catch 22---very hard to decide what to do, until you are put in the position. Either way, the decisions that are made run alot of risk.
And my answer to JAM's question--- "what changed in their relationship to make him stop?" -- my answer is morethan likely he got caught!!!!
wendi