I swore I would never post this experience of mine in public, but given the civility of the thread and all of those therein
I think I might work up the nerve...........
I had an introduction to what seems to be a unique facet of discrimination starting in the 3rd grade. My parents both had families hailing from New York City--they knew how to get along w/ people from all walks of life, ethnic backgrounds, etc because they had met so many. I learned not to pre-judge people on a superficial basis when I was knee-high to a grasshopper.
When I was in the middle of the 3rd grade, we moved to a new community. This was a large yet tight-knit town, with 95% of the social interaction based around a couple of local synagogues. I was raised as a Protestant Christian.
On my first day of school, my new teacher sat and met with me and both of my parents. She asked point blank which synagogue we were joining.
"None of them, I'm afraid. We're Christians."
"You're not Jewish?"
"Uh...no, we're not."
"So what in the world are you doing
HERE??? "
And so began my new life--on the outside of the community because of my religion and ethnic background. My parents had the same trouble crossing barriers that I had, but they had more skills as adults to deal with it. The first 2 or 3 weeks, people woudl drop in to say hello, or invite us for a visit in their homes. When the synagogue question came up, there was an awkward silence then...."My, look at the time! Here's your hat, what's your hurry?"
I learned to rely on myself. I became a self-sufficient loner. Only a few friends were scattered here and there, other religious/ethnic minorities who had been shunned. Most of them moved away from the neighborhood, so there are no "lifelong friends" in my scrapbooks.
I already know, this is not even close to the racism that many ethnic minorities face today. It's ironic as hell that most of the people involved were all white, yet some found a reason to discriminate against others anyway.
I learned quite a few lessons from this:
1) Anyone is capable of being a bigot. Prejudice is a behaviour, not an inborne trait that some people have and others don't.
2) Anyone can be a victim of prejudice, depending on the circumstance. People will find SOME way, SOME how to single others out. As I said above, most of these people were white, and yet there was still discrimination.
3) Being resentful of past wrongs based on someone's pre-judging of you is a choice, not a destiny. It would be *easy* for me to be resentful of other ethinic or religious groups based on my isolation growing up. However, I learned through high school and on through college that someone has to be the first to break the cycle. Someone has to be the first to not return or perpetuate the injustice that was done to them. I made the choice to break the cycle.
4) Even out of a youth of prejudice and isolation, something positive can grow. I developed a love of Comparative Theology and world history, that came from trying to understand the people around me, instead of writing them off.
I may be white, but I've seen enough forms of discrimination to know it still exists. I am Catholic today and there are some areas of Texas and the South that I avoid like the plague. (The Klan would hang me and my husband as fast as any AfAm or Jewish person because of our Catholic faith.) This is more of a vent/sharing that a solution--I don't have one, really.
Thanx to the people who created this thread. I had no idea I would ever have the nerve to share what I just did.
Adrienne (PNAM-2003)