Quote:
Originally posted by pinkyphimu
well, i just ended an inter-cultural relationship. i am italian and he is indian (as in from india). he moved here when he was 8. neither of us had issues due to our cultural differences. our biggest clash was he is a vegetarian and i am not. lol, he hates the smell of tuna and said that i could never have it in our house.
anyway, his family expected that he would have an arranged marriage. both of his older sisters did, so that was that. his younger brother is also in a relationship with an american woman. he told his parents about her and his mother cried. and still cries every day. they told him that they would disown him, although they have not yet. they have in the past made it clear to my ex that they would disown him. i kept telling him that if he and his brother did it together, there was no way his parents would cut them both off! unfortunately, as soon as his brother told his parents.....they guilted my ex even more. "we are so glad you would never do that to us..." puh-lease. how ridiculous. i am well educated, come from a good family, have my own money, and love this man more than just about anything, but in their eyes i am not good enough because i am not indian.
last weekend he called me to tell me that he is engaged to a woman that he met a week before who happens to live in india....and he won't see her again until the wedding.
he wasn't strong enough to tell his parents. he is miserable, but doesn't know how to get out. as i have told him a zillion times, someday your parents will die and you will be looking at some woman that you never cared about and that you were with just to make your parents happy.
parents suck. their generation has a very different view of inter-racial/ cultural relationships. things have changed and we are more accepting of these things. if you show your parents that the person you are with is good to you and for you, then they will change too.
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My boyfriend of 5 years is Indian, and I am in shock reading this. He was born in the U.S., but his parents were born and raised in India and a lot of his family is still there. My b/f's grandparents didn't even have an arranged marriage. He told me that he's pretty sure that his great-grandparents did have arranged marriages, but that things like that don't really happen too often anymore. His family is really open and understanding, and although at first I was worried that they wouldn't like me or that they wouldn't want him to date me because I'm white, none of them cared at all. Actually, one of his uncles has been married to a Jewish woman for over 30 years, and their daughter just married a man from Mexico.
My boyfriend is really charming and wonderful, so I wasn't really worried about my family liking him. They are very nice to him and like him a lot, but I still hear some members of my family using racial slurs from time to time when he's not around (not to refer to him though). I tell them that they shouldn't say things like that, but they always say that they wouldn't say things like that about my boyfriend because he's "not like other Indian people," whatever that's supposed to mean.
