One of the chapter advisors for Alpha Phi had the best outlook on this subject. She shared it with us at the Pacific Northwest Regional Conference a couple of weekends ago, and while I don't remember it exactly, I'll try to paraphrase it.
As you enter college/university, you are entering an unquestionably adult part of your life. For many women it is their first time away from home, away from the shelter of mom and dad and everything that is familar to them. While they might still
feel like girls, because they're young and may have limited life experiences, they're adults and should be treated as such.
She also said that for many women, making a committment to a sorority is the most important one she's had to make in her young life so far. By calling the new members "women", she's showing them that their decisions are worthy of respect, that they are binding, and that they are very serious. If women hear it often enough, it makes them realize the gravity of their oath, and starts to drive home that as women, they are ultimately responsible for their own actions. She almost always calls collegians "women" -- and she said that one of the greatest things that she's ever witnessed as a chapter advisor was to see that the women in the chapter she advises learned to adapt "woman" instead of "girl" when speaking of other members and about/to new members.
Now my own opinion: A woman is a fully actualized person who is worthy of respect. I'm as southern as they come, but the terms 'lady' and 'girl' have a bit of a negative connotation for me, mostly because they're terms that can be used to show a hierarchy - you either are a 'lady' (person of breeding) or you aren't. A lady is snooty - a woman is alive, vibrant, approachable, has a sense of humour, and is someone you can get close to. Not that having taste, tact, and displaying good sense is a
bad thing, but historically, that term has been used to exclude people. I don't want to exclude any of my sisters from the communal spirit of Alpha Phi.
When I was growing up, my mom would often tell me to stop acting "womanish", which meant that I was acting above my age, taking on the characteristics of a woman. At what time should young females start acting "womanish"?
As for girl, I really take issue to that word, because I ceased being a girl when I hit puberty. Not to be graphic or anything, but if she can bear children of her own, then she deserves to be called "young woman" to show that she has entered a phase of her life where it might be time to think of the person she is becoming, not focusing on the girlhood she is leaving behind. There are other reasons I hate to hear the word used when referring to me, but I don't want to take this thread down a frequently traveled road.
Okay, I've said enough. I'm hushing up now.
