Quote:
Originally posted by AXJules
Either way, my dilemma was between having a heart and saying I forgive him,, and standing my ground and being like, I have no room for you in my life. I just wanted to make sure I wasn't making the wrong decision.
I truly believe that people can make mistakes and learn from them, but in this case I just don't think he really cares. I miss the friend he used to be, but sometimes you have to be selfish, you know??
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It is possible to forgive someone their prior assholeness, and still not have them in your life. You can decide to forgive him, and even say so to his face, but there is no law saying that you *have* to be friends again. Sometimes a defined end point to the hurt or resentment can be helpful, to both parties. Restarting a major friendship is not required. If his "therapist" is worth the ink on his/her degree, then they'll be telling him that true apologies come with no strings attached.
The thing that I would stumble over in your situation is that "his therapist" is guiding him. There have been times I was in a relationship with someone and "the therapist" wanted to talk to me. "The therapist" said we should try this, that or the other. That was my cue to wave the hand and say "See-ya......"
Adrienne (PNAM-2003)
