Quote:
Originally posted by Blackwatch
One of the subjects that came up was the issue of gender justice in the black church.
To the ladies, why is the church so much more appealing to black women than to black men? What about the issue of women preaching and pastoring? Is the Bible written from a patriarchal context, as Dr. Michael Eric Dyson suggests? If so, then why aren't more men in church? Let's talk about these things
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Some of the biased (my bias) reasons I have heard that more men don't go to church:
1. Hypocritical: the usually "male" Pastor says one thing, but is doing quite another. Men generally see things more in "black and white" than women, and they're not very tolerante to see a guy teach "don't fornicate" "don't covet" and then see this is the main guy doing the coveting and fornicating! Other guys are not pleased by the "appearance" of petty backbiting from the men-hungry women that seem to populate some churches. These guys just want to worship and go home--they don’t want to try and “get at” some gal, they don’t want to see short skirts, back-less shirts and other club para some women like to wear to church (you know the gals who booty-hop on sat. and are wailing in the pews on sunday
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2. Over reliance on "preaching, " not teaching: Generally, men are more likely than women to want to know the "nuts and bolts" of a situation. When you have a minister that is not willing to be challenged, to touch seemingly contradictory statements in the Bible, to address misconceptions and empower the congregation, it is a turn-off for many men.
3. Intolerance: I notice this in relationships and other areas: women are generally less likely to carry past baggage with them. I run into men who've had bad experiences in their childhood church, and rather than find a church that fits their adult needs, they label all churches with the same broad stroke and vow to never enter the church's doors again. Women, I guess, we're used to being long-suffering, because we either stay with the church, warts and all, or we find something that's a better fit.
4. Church traditions and infrastructure do not cater to both genders equally: Men do not want to sit in a three-hour church service on a Sunday (for that matter, neither do I). For the black church, Sunday service was a social outlet traditionally--the only time we were able to get together and "TK." While it's still a large part of our lives, it doesn't not dominate our social infrastructure any longer. With both parents working, with our lives squeezed tighter and tighter into the weekends, it becomes difficult to devote in some churches an entire Sunday to the actual service. Men (and women) would rather spend the better part of Sunday doing a “fun” social activity.
5. Emotional context: For most people, their relationship with God is a very personal thing. Attending church requires that you trust your brothers and sisters in God, to sometimes wear your heart on your sleeve, to potentially show emotion and weakness. I think this is hard for men to do. I know men who believe and worship God, but prefer to do so in the privacy of their own homes/lives. They believe that some people in the church will hold their weakness “a’gin’ ‘em” at a later date.
5. Gender equality: When looking for a new church home, I only considered churches that encouraged "women in the pulpit." It is clear that the Bible is certainly written from a patriarchal context, but I don't think that's enough to encourage men to come to church (because many are not “taught” about the Bible in their church anyway). The men currently in the black church should be leading the charge to get "their brothers" to come to church, but often times these guys already in the church "appear" to be ego-maniacal, power-hungry, hypocritical, or hen-pecked (or a bit too much sugar in the tank) and none of these "appearances" are going to get guys distrustful of church for all the reasons (and more) above to start attending.