[AOX81]

These are entries to a competition asking for a rhyme with the most romantic first line but least romantic second line for a valentine:

Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss > > > but I only slept with you because I was pissed.
I thought that I could love no other > > > Until, that is, I met your brother

Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you. > > > But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty,and so is your head.

Of loving beauty you float with grace > > > If only you could hide your face

Kind, intelligent, loving and hot > > > This describes everything you are not

I want to feel your sweet embrace > > > But don't take that paper bag off of your face

I love your smile, your face, and your eyes- > > > Damn, I'm good at telling lies!

My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife: > > > Marrying you has screwed up my life

I see your face when I am dreaming > > > That's why I always wake up screaming

My love you take my breath away > > > What have you stepped in to smell this way?

My feelings for you no words can tell > > > Except for maybe "go to hell"

What inspired this amorous rhyme? > > > Two parts vodka, one part lime.