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There is no such thing as outdated etiquette... it is always relevant, it's just that our society is dumb and tactless far too often!
Anyway, the idea of showers (even for a first wedding) is inherently rude. You are NEVER supposed to ask for gifts... there are many other ways to celebrate joyous events. Showers have become a traditional part of our culture, however, and can be excused when done tastefully and minimally. Anyway, I don't think anyone should have too many showers for their first wedding, and I don't think they should have them for second ones. You already got gifts!
For babies, I think it is more okay to have multiple ones (ie. one for each kid).
Family members should not throw showers, based on traditional etiquette... Only friends can.
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