Quote:
Originally posted by xo_kathy
Also, what about people who live together for 5 years before they get married? Don't you think they have accumulated a lot of stuff already? And they still get showers. Same can be said that most people are getting married later now. At 28-35 you should have plenty of stuff but we still throw these people showers. I just think, as someone else sort of said, it's a happy time and why not celebrate it to it's fullest?
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I'd like to share my own experiences on this subject.
My husband and I were both over 30 when we met and married. I already owned a home that I purchased in my single years, we both had established careers and stable incomes. When he moved into my guest room in the couple of months before we married, we had to "consolidate" alot just to make everything fit in the house. (The Salvation Army made a killing off of us.)
In addition, I had bicoastal bridesmaids, and most of our friends and family flew in from over a dozen states (or sent cards, etc).
In my situation, a bridal shower just didn't make any sense, in any form. (My bridesmaids and I, plus a guy or two--don't ask--had a low-key bachelorette night at a local club, and my matron of honor gave me my first "married" lingerie as a private gift, but that was about it.)
My then-fiance and I decided that given the lengths people had to go to just *be* at the wedding, we included a card in our invitations that asked our guests to not send or bring any gifts--that we had everything we needed and what we wanted most of all was for our friends and family to share our wedding and celebrate with us. We suggested some of our favorite charities if people really felt the need to give a gift.
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In this day and age of people marrying later, more frequently, and women being more financially independent than our mothers or grandmothers were, I'm having a hard time accepting the concept of the traditional "shower". For those of us who are already established in homes and careers before we marry, it seems to be a bit of overkill.
We'll be trying to have children in the near future as well. While we would love to have our friends and family celebrate any new additions to our nest, I can not see myself saying, "Sure, buy a plane ticket, find lodging for yourself and come visit. Oh yeah, buy me something too."
Just my 2 cents.
Adrienne (PNAM-2003)