Thanks for the replies, everyone...
I'm not sure if I made it clear before, but my hesitancy to attend the shower is not related to the second marriage aspect as much as it is to the fact that I'm by no means close to the bride at this point in our lives. The last time I saw her was at a another friend's wedding 2 years ago, and even then we only exchanged a few words.
I was more just wondering if the etiquette that my mother drilled into me as a youngster about such matters was outdated, and how common such event were in this day and age. MSKKG, I copied your post and sent it to her, so I'm sure she's gagging on her tongue right now
As far as living together, this is another hot topic with my mom. I live with my bf, and probably will for 2 years or more before we get married. We have everything we need plus more. I don't want a shower, and I've told friends that. In general, I think showers are about as outdated as hope chests. XO_Kathy, you're right in that people get married later in life these days, and many have most the things they need to set-up a home. Personally, I would just prefer a kick-butt bachelorette party