[valkyrie]

I'd like to hear what people from the south think of this! I always feel like they know way more about etiquette than I do!

I'm no expert, but this whole thing sounds so inappropriate on so many levels. I really don't think that people should be having showers for seconds -- marriages or children. It just seems, I don't know, overly selfish, and there are other ways for family and friends to show that they support someone as she approaches her second marriage -- that don't involve nothing but gifts. For example, the couple (or their families) could throw an engagement party or something along those lines, and those who feel moved to bring a gift could, but the emphasis isn't on that.

I would say no for second (and third, etc.) children as well. Once you have baby stuff, you can reuse a lot of it (especially if you're not into the cheesy blue for boys and pink for girls crap). I would think that by the time you've decided to have a second child, you should darn well be able to afford to buy what you need yourself, and it's not like you're just starting your new family and need all the help you can get.

I agree that the theme is VERY tacky. Why do you all want to sit around and watch someone look at lingerie she has received? Why would anyone want to buy lingerie for a friend? What if you buy the wrong size? While you are eating lunch (assuming that the guests at least get fed), are you supposed to picture her and her future husband enjoying the lingerie? Gross.

Also, if you haven't spoken to her for two years, WHY IN THE HELL were you invited to the shower? I always thought that showers were for close friends and family. I wouldn't even think of going to a shower of someone I haven't spoken with for such a long time. I figure, if we're not close enough friends that I could call you up at night crying about something that upset me, I'm not going to your shower. I think the best ever shower invitation I got was for a shower that was being held across the country. It came with a note saying, basically, that we know you can't make it, but feel free to send a gift! Yeah, right!

Edited to add: Bridal showers are, in my opinion, for brides. I think that if a woman who has never been married is marrying a guy who has been married, there is no reason why she shouldn't have a shower.