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Originally posted by darling1
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NOTE: MY CAPS DO NOT DENOTE ME YELLING, I AM JUST NOT SURE HOW TO CHANGE THE FONTS .
OK, AS SOMEONE WHO HAS BEEN IN THERAPY AND BASED ON MY EXPERIENCE, I FEEL THAT IN SOME WAY HE HAS BEGUN TO ADDRESS HIS ISSUES. I FEEL THAT IT DOES TAKE ALOT TO SAY THAT YOU FORGIVE SOMEONE. IT HAS TAKEN ME 25 YEARS TO BE ABLE TO VERBALIZE THOSE EXACT SENTIMENTS RELATIVE TO MY ISSUES. TO ME THAT IS A STEP FORWARD. DO I BELIEVE HE HAS MANY MORE STEPS TO TAKE, GOD YES. BUT I STILL THINK THAT HE HAS FOUND SOME WAY TO LIVE A LIFE THAT IS THE MOST POSITIVE FOR HIM. NOW IT ISN'T THE BEST NOT THE IDEAL. THE IDEAL IN MY EYES WOULD BE FOR HIM TO BE ABLE TO LIVE COMFORTABLY IN THIS WORLD WITH ALL OF HIS EXPERIENCES, BE ABLE TO TALK ABOUT HIS ISSUES WITHOUT GETTING SO EMOTIONAL AND SAD. I THINK THE FACT THAT HE CAN TALK ABOUT HIS STUFF SPEAKS VOLUMES BECAUSE I SPENT YEARS NOT BEING ABLE TO FULLY DISCUSS THE THINGS THAT I WENT THROUGH. AS A MENTAL HEALTH PROFESSIONAL, YOU WILL SEE THINGS DIFFERENTLY BECAUSE OF THE EXPERTISE YOU HAVE. AS SOMEONE WHO HAS LIVED SOME OF THE THINGS MICHAEL HAS LIVED, I COME FROM A DIFFERENT THOUGHT PROCESS. I HOPE THAT THIS HELPS YOU TO UNDERSTAND MY POINT A BIT CLEARER. IF NOT, THEN WE WILL HAVE TO AGREE TO DISAGREE.
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I clearly understand what you're saying...and hey, everyone has "stuff". What I'M saying is that the ability to FORGIVE someone goes far deeper than just being able to SAY it. Just think about it. We have a tendency to SAY with ease that we forgive someone for something, yet, in many situations, it continues to have a negative effect on our lives (one way or another). Heck, even JANET JACKSON herself said that she has to learn how to love/like herself (and we don't see her even HALF as messed up as Michael). Remember it's not so much HOW MUCH someone talks about his/her issues, it's about WHAT he/she says and feels and his/her DESIRE and ABILITY to learn how to cope in EFFECTIVE ways. THIS is what therapy helps you do.
Now it IS true that, as a Mental Health therapist, my job is to be OBJECTIVE and, in many cases, play the "devil's advocate". BUT I want you to know that I'm HUMAN first. And you'll be surprised to learn that over 50 percent of social workers and counselors are people who HAVE or have gone through major issues much like their clients (and Michael Jackson). I'M NO EXCEPTION! IF only you knew even HALF of what MY childhood was like....
So having said that, I DO indeed UNDERSTAND your "thought process". HOWEVER, I'm a REALIST. And I truly believe that THERAPY IS ABOUT BEING "TRUE TO THY SELF". It has nothing to do with what I think about YOU, it's about what YOU think about you and what YOU want to do about it. My question is, what is Michael Jackson doing about his issues? Just look at how he's allowing them to govern his life.
Just think about this. Yes, I empathize with his having to deal with an abusive father (I PERSONALLY know first-hand what this is like) and any other stuff that he's gone through. But it's WAAAYYY past the point for Michael Jackson to deal with those things so that he CAN "move forward". I ALWAYS tell my clients that it's one thing to not seek help if you just don't know. One can't be held accountable for what he/she does not know. But it's a totally different story when you DO know and you do NOTHING about it. At this point, although Michael is an adult and lives in his own home, I would say that Joe Jackson is STILL in control...because MICHEAL is allowing it to be.