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I always used to tell my ex-boyfriend (when he was my boyfriend, of course), that if we got to that point, and he gave me a Cracker Jack ring, that would be enough... just because it was from him. (Also, it's SO Breakfast at Tiffany's...)
So, money-wise, I don't see a huge problem with this situation. I work, and I know $40,000 is not that much money. However, I agree that it is a problem that he is buying something that is so obviously not her style... Marriage is a HUGE step, and it should be something that you have discussed at length, and that you know you both want. So, if this couple is serious enough to discuss marriage, I would think the topic of the ring could casually come up.
Maybe she should admit she wa SNOOPING (Naughty!) and they can talk about it... just kidding.
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