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I agree with everyone. Don't send the letter. Don't even tell her how you feel about her. It is none of her business and can cause more hurt feelings. If she does something else offense, tell her at the time, "When you do ____, I feel ____." Don't drag up actions from the past. There's nothing that she can do to undo the past.
You don't need to announce your plans to her, just act. If you don't wsnt to have contact with her outside of sorority events, simply don't.
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