Hmm... well let me try to attack this one.

I've hit both ends of this spectrum... I've been in a few long term relationships and a LOT of short-term, and in those I've been in big L-Love twice in my life.

My first long term relationship was with a guy I grew up with. My parents and his parents were good friends, and ever since we were toddlers we were spending time together. He was 5 years older than me, so even though we had feelings for each other, we waited until I was out of high school to date (which meant no dating in high school, blech.). We dated, and got engaged.... and I realized that we were in different types of love. He was in big-L Love with me... and I was in small-l love with him... after growing up with him for so many years, he felt more like my brother than my husband. So I broke off our engagement.

I dated a whole bunch of guys in between for a few weeks/months at a time here and there....

Then I met Jim, and fell in big-L Love. As did he. We dated for almost a year, and I was sure he was "The One". To be honest with you, I still don't know to this day what happened with us... I know that there was a teeny-tiny miscommunication that blew up into a gigantic mess that broke us up...I don't know. (Can you tell I was the dumped here? LOL)

Again with the dating bunches of people for various lengths of time...

And now I'm with my current boyfriend. We are living together and planning on marriage. And I think what we have now is the right combination of Big-L and small-l love. Do I think he's "The One"? You know, I really can't say anymore. I know I want to marry him. I want to spend the rest of my life with him. But I'm not sure what "The One" is anymore, after being so convinced of it previously.

(just to throw this in here... I don't believe, by the way, that your "soulmate" is necessarily the person you should spend the rest of your life with. For me, my soulmate is my previous fiancee. We know and understand each other in ways that I don't think anyone else ever will...we have a connection... but I don't want to marry him!! My boyfriend and I don't have that now, but it is developing, and into something more than I could have had with Guy #1)

my God that was long... sorry!