[phisigduchesscv]

If you truly think the situation in the chapter is bad maybe you need to approach the advisor and ask her to facilitate a pass the gavel or fireside. If you're not familiar with that you all sit in a circle and only one sister can speak at a time about anything, good or bad essentially no holds barred just be respectful. Whatever is said stays in the room and if a sister wasn't present she isn't to find out about what is said. Again only the one person can speak - if its pass the gavel only the person with the gavel can speak so if someone wants to comment they have to wait until they get the gavel. If its a fireside you just raise your hand and wait for the facilitator to call on you. The requirements of speaking are that all statements must be I statements - not you or the chapter does or feels such and such - only I feel, think, want, etc. You must be respectful throughout the event. We've used both pass the gavel and a fireside and I think both have helped the chapter.

As for your birthday, one question, did you ever tell the chapter (not just one or two sisters) you were planning the party at the beach house? If you did and they still planned this event that is messed up. If you didn't tell them then maybe you need to talk to eboard about it and see if they can change the date etc.

Regarding the overprogramming by having four mandatory events in a week (unless its recruitment) you seriously need to have a talk with eboard and your advisor. The chapter calendar needs to be looked at and adjusted better. We got a new advisor this past semester and its been a godsend for us. We were so overprogrammed with "mandatory" events that all of us were burnt out. We just had a chapter retreat and revised our calendar so not all events are mandatory but we do have a lot of events that are scheduled that are points events. As long as you maintain a minimum set of points per month you're okay and you don't have to attend every event although if you can make it all the better. You can pm PhiSigScooby and she can give you more information about how the new points system is working for us.

Don't give up on your chapter.