A wise answer Justamom. . .
I am trying to think like a guy right now.
The biggest factor is just how much he likes you or will like you if you spend more time together.
Si instead of talking right now, I would do a modified versions of the girls advice . . . spend a little more time with him or talking to him over the next week, and then get a little scarce. Give him a better taste and then take it away.
I don't mean avoid exactly, and not for longer than a few days really, but miss an event that you would both normally be at and be out of the apartment when he calls.
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Originally posted by justamom
Do you REALLY want to know the answer to your question?
As you see from the other posts, sometimes-SOMETIMES-it can work out. However...
What is it YOU want out of this relationship, forever after? Or, do you just want "A" relationship? You have defined this so far as a sexual relationship with your actions. Do you want more, would HE want more? There is only one way to find out. STOP IT! (Unless being in Limbo is more enticing than the reality of a deeper connection.) You are handing out what he wants with no commitment from him. What has HE invested compared to the emotional investment you have made? While you are "happy" with this status quo, you are ignoring and missing out on numerous young men who may have an interest or COULD have an interest for something more permanent. How will you ever know if your days of hooking up are turning into weeks and weeks into months?
If you tell him that you are obviously very attracted to him, but that you don't feel comfortable with the direction your situation is going, you will find out pretty fast what his real feelings are...unless he's a liar and wants to keep stringing you along for his own pleasure-not unheard of you know.
AOII_LB93-I know it sounds awful, but have him do all the work, meaning the calling etc....the less available you make yourself the better....it worked for me, and we've been together for over 3 years now. hehehe =) This is probably the least "threatening" way to go about it if you don't have the confidence/courage to "point blank" him. Many on this board are much more liberal sexually than I ever dreamed of being. Still, you don't know how HE was raised and believe me, morality is one of those things that is ingrained and though it may take a vacation for a while, it will return. So, you will be addressing all his baggage from his upbringing. When you jump into sex without
some concrete foundation, things get confusing and it is USUALLY the girl who is drained emotionally, because of the uncertainty of where she really stands. Yes, it CAN work-does work for some. How much time (how MANY times) do YOU want to spend figuring out if it will work for you?
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