White_Chocolate, I hope you were being sarcastic when you suggested she transfer to a school with a smaller chapter

. She might like her current school for reasons like, oh, ACADEMICS or something.
Unless your chapter has perfect harmony and is completely filled with sisters with an extremely strong sense of self, you'll have elections where perhaps the wrong person ends up with the job. One of our sisters was fab at rush, but she just was determined to be pledge mom - she got voted in and it ended up as a giant cluster@$#%.
What I'm getting is that you all are being pressured to get numbers up either from within or without, and it's doing damage to the sorority. If this is coming from your national, tell them that you really want to work out the sisterhood issues before doing a big recruitment push. All the rushing in the world won't cover up a divided chapter.
Suggest having pass the gavel at meetings or a suggestion box. Speak to some other sisters you feel close to and see if they feel the same - sometimes if it comes from a group it gets taken more seriously.
Don't stop speaking up!!! Whatever you do. I know that sometimes you wish you could stop caring, it would make life easier. But it would also make life, well, less. Good luck, and come here anytime you need to vent.