Shoot, I wish I had ONE black co-worker but that's a whole another thread.
Unfortunately, Soror, what you see isn't surprising. Remember, more than a few people under 40 years of age were raised in environments where they were either the ONLY or one of very few AfAms, thanks to open housing laws, school desegregation and such.
Many people like your co-worker are uncomfortable with other Blacks and didn't have proper home training, IMO. For that, I blame the parents who may have the best of intentions, but should have taught them that there should be some degree of commonality.
One of the more blatant examples of what you describe was Janet Cooke, the disgraced
Washington Post reporter who faked a story and gave back a Pulitzer Prize. The woman, from all accounts, didn't speak to ANY black folks and as it turned out, she was sheltered as a child.
Her Dad told her that the black kids in her neighborhood "weren't educated or refined enough to be your playmates"
That's some shiznit to tell a little black girl, but I digress...
Believe me, I'm not trying to excuse the cat, because he sounds like he has some Ohhhhjjjj issues.