|
Sarah, I think you absolutely did the right thing by breaking up with him. It sounds like he has started going down a path, and once he starts that it won't stop. I'm seeing red flags all over the place, and the truth is I think that this guy could VERY EASILY end up being abusive in the future, either to you or to someone else.
He has made you feel like crap and has treated you badly and you did what was best for YOU, which was break up with him. I wouldn't even listen to people who tell you how miserable he is -- cut them off when they start to talk about it. It is NOT YOUR PROBLEM that he is miserable. It is the logical consequence of his action -- he treats someone like crap, and once that person gets smart and kicks his butt to the curb, it is going to hit him HARD. But like I said, it is not your problem. Most importantly, you need to remember that YOU are not causing HIM pain at all! He caused it himself by treating you the way he did. He caused himself pain, not you. Don't blame yourself!
As for you, of course it is going to be hard for a while, but don't let the fact that it is hard make you go back to him. Believe me, after a break up it gets easier, but the only thing that makes it so is TIME. You need time to heal and time to chill and time to just pay some attention to yourself. Pamper yourself -- go to a spa or for a run or shopping or read a good book -- just do stuff that you like to do. You need to take extra good care of yourself now. This is YOU time.
He is moving away anyway. I understand your desire to be on good terms with him, but in reality that is not important. You don't need to be on good terms with him. You do not need to ever speak to him, at least not for now because it would be too easy for him to say the sugary sweet things he thinks he needs to say to get you back. Don't fall for it. He can be sweet and charming once he thinks he's lost you, but if you go back to him it will be more of the same. He is going to dedicate himself to trying to say what you want to hear to get you back if you spend even one minute with him, so I would suggest that you just stay away. If you didn't think the relationship was good enough to stay in now, when you're both there, it would only be worse after he moves away.
Whatever you do, though, remember that we are all here for you!!!
{{{{Hugs}}}}
|