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i can understand your frustration. i am very close with my big sister. even years after we both have graduated, we talk regularly and we meet for dinner monthly. when she first became my big, i wasn't sure that we would click so much. she was very quiet, so i didn't know her that well. we did make time to meet outside of phi mu activities. it was usually for dinner or to watch friends. i found out that she wasn't nearly as quiet as everyone thought!!! she has turned out to be a very wonderful friend and i wouldn't trade her for the world. the thing is that we took the time to get to know one another. we also didn't become instant best friends. it wasn't until my second year, that we became really close.
now, my little, on the other hand.....my chapter was small at the time and sisters did not choose their littles...only littles chose bigs.
i liked the person that i was given. she and i had the same major, had a few other interests in common, but she was also really quiet. i tried soooooo hard to get that girl to talk to me. we would meet for dinner and she would just sit there quietly. her best friend was also my twin, so we would have family dinners and we just weren't able to make any connections. i can't say that we really did give it a good chance. i hated that i wasn't close with my little, especially since i had the greatest big, but i didn't know what to do. my twin hasn't talked to my big since her graduation. my little and i haven't talked to each other since my graduation.
my advice: try to get to know your big outside of zeta. pick a day that you meet every week for lunch or for dinner. invite her to the library for a study session. find something that you both have to do and see when you can do it together! this will give you a low pressure way to start to get to know each other. the one thing that i have learned is that the big/little relationship has many unrealistic expectatations. you think that you will be soulmates or best friends forever, but most of the time, it doesn't happen that way. make your best effort to get to know that person, but don't feel like a failure if you don't make it work. if your little happens to transfer, that doesn't mean you can never speak again!! there are no sure fire methods to picking "the right" person. plus, some people may not think the relationship is as important as you do. if all else fails, you can always adopt a little!!
to end this on a positive note: i had an adopted little in college. she and i still talk regularly and see each other whenever we can. a few months ago, i was at homecoming and a sister who i had always wished was my little and i knew always wished that i was her big started talking about bigs/ littles. i told her that i would adopt her as my little....and i did. so 5 years after graduation, i got a new little!! we talk weekly (which we hadn't until after homecoming) and we made plans to meet in a few weeks when i will be in the state. it is never too late to get a great little sis!!!
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