|
I admit it....I've been avoiding greekchat. I'm not feeling so happy about how NBO is going and I didn't think I could even handle discussing it. Honestly...I've lost the care that I used to have for it. I know that sounds so simple and abrupt, but it's kinda true. I feel like we put in SO much work, and the end result is that we either remain stagnant or actually deteriorate. We're losing members- girls are either moving back home, going to a community college, or simply not showing up to meetings or anything anymore. What's the point? Here's the thing. Obviously there's no way for us to get what AZD asked for- in large part because we didn't try hard enough, we don't make the effort and I don't know how to be a good leader. I've lost my passion, the drive I used to have has just fizzled out. So I longer have AZD to look forward to...ok, so that's not what a sorority should be all about, the sisterhood we have should be enough. But honestly it's not. We've all lost motivation because it's SO HARD to advance...we can't survive unless we recruit new members, we consistently cannot attract new members, thus...a=b, b=c, a=c. And, while I have an intense desire to be a part of greek life in general, I am so completely unimpressed with other greek organizations at my school, that I have no desire to be a part of UCSC's greek life. So if I know my sorority won't provide me with anything once I graduate, and I don't see what any of us are getting from it now...what's the point? I know this sounds fatalistic and whiny and I'm just giving up but hell, I'm human and I don't think I can hack it anymore. Everything that goes wrong is directly or indirectly my fault- and I don't like that pressure. I'm not a good President, I know this now. I don't have the proper motivation or self dicipline. I feel like this situation with AZD, combined with our completely innefective rush situation, has just delivered several crushing blows that we won't be able to recover from. Sorry if I'm being repetative, I don't even know exactly what I'm thinking or trying to say right now. I know it's stupid to say that I wish it were all easier, but I do. I wish we could get a break...I wish the other organizations on campus were nicer, I wish that we had the strength to accomplish our goals, I wish I wasn't so whiny right now...sorry I'm subjecting you all to this, I just don't even know what to think or say anymore.
-Corina
|