Congrats to your brother and his new wife! I hope you are doing better. Reading this thread really made me see that so many people are in this situation. I guess we all have things in life that we have to strive to overcome. I definately know what you are talking about and I am here to listen anytime.
I'm sure that your parents are proud of you, you are a wonderful, intelligent person. Most people need acceptance, reassurance and praise from parents. I still put A papers and grades on the refrigerator when I come homeand then I think, "What am I doing, I'M IN COLLEGE???!!!!!!!!!"
When choosing my major, that is all I thought about!! What will make my parents happy? I have no idea where this comes from, my parents have always been extremely supportive and tell me all the time to do what makes me happy. It only makes it worse when my parents brag about things i have accomplished and I think that I must keep this up and strive to be better.
I find myself telling my parents my grades in classes, then looking for their reaction.
I'm Pre-Med because I wanted to help people, or so I said. I knew how proud it would make my parents (not to mention inflate my ego) Who am I kidding, in almost any occupation you can "help" people, I want to be a doctor for other reasons. Now, I'm reconsidering but I still put pressure on myself.