Soror, I hope you don't mind if a sista' replies.
I tried to stay away, but I couldn't.
I will be 27 in 11 days.
I am single, with no prospects of a husband in sight. I want children BAD! I have chosen to be patient and wait on God, basically because I don't have a choice. At the same time, the whole situation can become depressing, because I feel like I'm off schedule. I always thought I would be married with children by now. I have always wanted, and still do want, to have children before I'm 32. My mother was 32 when she had me, and I always felt like my parents were so much older than everyone else's. It didn't help matters when they both passed when I was only 19. I don't want to be an old parent. And I don't want to die when my children are young. I realize that I have no control over this. I've given it to God, and I will deal with how he dishes it out. But at the same time, I'm ready to have children. I don't want to have them out of wedlock, though. But I am considering it. Not right now, of course, but when I feel like I am more finanicially stable. Will it be hard without a husband? Absolutely. But my life has been hard thus far, and I've dealt with it. Will I get pregnant by ANY man? Not if I can help it. Am I going to trap a man into committing. Oh, definitely not. Will I continue to use protection, yes.
In answer to your question, is it okay? For me, yes, it is. Only the individual can answer that. I can't say whether or not it would be okay for anyone else. There are 30-something women that are married that are raising their children in dysfunctional households. My point is that the age of the woman has nothing to do with it. It is a person's life experiences that make them who they are.
As far as the difference between a teenage mom and a 30-something year old mom, there are many. Most teenagers haven't had enough life experiences to make a life altering decision such as raising a child. Most teenagers don't have the financial means to raise a child. Everyone should have a chance at life. After having a child, there are sacrifices that must be made. I think that teens need to think twice about becoming parents, because they are going to miss out on some of the best years of their lives. That is one of the biggest differences, I think, a 30 year old has had that chance at life.
I'll admit, I too have thought about the sperm bank. I would love to adopt, but I am looking forward to being pregnant, bringing life. Like Soror AKA2D said, I guess it's just not my time yet. *SIGH* Oh, Soror Monet, I also agree with AKA2D that you need help, like yesterday!
Just my .08
(Can y'all tell it's the end of the day? This is when I'm at my chattiest
)
[This message has been edited by Ideal08 (edited April 03, 2001).]