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Juniorgrrl, you said some things that I see in myself and I THINK I may understand how "Mom" is feeling. I think she is flat out lonely for you AND your Dad. She wants to be reassured (over and over) that you still love her and need her. When you didn't jump out of bed with excitement, she may have felt that spending time with her wasn't important to you. I would bet my bottom dollar that she was really excited about Christmas shopping with you and being Mom and Daughter for a while. I would guess it hurt her a LOT. Instead of being straight up with you, she acted like it was no biggie-she didn't EXPECT anymore from you so go do what YOU want to do and don't "worry" about her... She wanted-needed to see it come from YOU. Yes, it does seem unreasonable, especially from your perspective, but it happens when communication breaks down and a cycle begins.
She NEEDS to have YOU plan something special to do together. It won't change things overnight, but it will mean so much to her.
Just be sure for a few hours, you thicken up your skin (old habits are hard to break-even in the middle of a good time) and talk like you did when you were friends. Listen to her as well. You may get a better understanding of her feelings, maybe some things you are unaware of. What could it hurt?
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