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I don't think anyone should be compelled to with-hold secrets from their spouce/parent/child they do not feel have to be with-held, nor should anyone have to swear to die for ritual secrets. We have an honour and a privilage to be in our fraternities and sororities. Each of us must make our own decisions on how to deal with the knowledge given to us.
The issue is that ritual secrets are considered sacred, and how we approach the sacred differs from culture to culture. Some people feel that the sanctity of the sacred can never be breached--as in, divorse before I give up ritual information. Some people feel that there are times when it is necessary--my mother trusts me, and I need her now, so I can trust her. Some people really don't care--I want to write a website about our rituals so that everyone can see how lame all of this is. The degrees vary. But there is still an approach to the issue that is of one coming to the sacred and mysterious on one's own terms and making a decision.
For example, I suffer from a chronic and eventually terminal illness. I've told my parents what various objects from my sorority mean to me personally, not in the context of ritual, and how they must be dealt with were anything to happen to me. My sense of appropriate action with my objects of secrecy is more important than the absolute secrecy on the issue. I cannot bear the thought of my mother misunderstanding some of my SAI things and giving them away, especially things that must be burried with a sister or returned to nationals. This is a matter of trust, and of consience. I've discussed it with my President and VP of Rit, and we've come to the conclusion that this is appropriate, and so I feel that while I am in a sense violating some of our secrets, it is out of a legitimate need to prevent further violations after my death.
Just my $2.50. Take it for what it's worth.
~Emma
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