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Lana, it definitely sounds like you put more pressure on yourself than your parents put on you. They have to be so proud of all you've accomplished! Considering your brother's situation, your parents sound like caring, open-minded people who would love you and be proud of you no matter what. And it's pretty obvious that, even if you're never gotten a 3.0, you're trying your hardest to do well in life and in a lot of cases, that's more of an accomplishment than a lot of people who can breeze through school with good grades.
And don't worry about a career - any employer you'd want to work for will see what an asset you'd be, period. There are a lot of brilliant people out there who just don't test well. My dad, for example, can understand how anything mechanical works and designs instruments and parts for major auto companies, yet he never even went to college. I graduated with high honors and can't come close to doing what he does naturally. Grades only show how well you can memorize facts in many cases, they don't show your true potential.
As for asking for help when something's too hard - that's nothing to be ashamed of! I think it's awesome that you don't let your pride get in the way of figuring out what you need to do. I know so many people who think they're a failure if they ask for help, but it takes a really mature, secure person to be able to admit there's something they don't understand.
You sound like an incredible person! I wish you'd be as proud of yourself as I know your parents are of you!
A sidenote here: I noticed a lot of people mentioning the pressure first-borns often feel from their parents. I saw something interesting on Malcolm in the Middle, of all places, and I think it totally describes my family.
The oldest child is the one that gets the most crap thrown at him (even though on the show, he's a huge troublemaker). A comment was made about how some parents have kids before they're really ready. They don't understand how a child will change their lives, and they throw the blame on their firstborn. By the time the others come along, they've gotten used to being parents, but the first child was always the source of all of their problems.
Now, the older I get, I'm starting to realize that adults aren't necessarily all mature just because of their age. And while I normally don't believe psychoanalysis that takes place on sitcoms, this is 100% the case with me and my parents. My whole life, they've been whining about how they could've had so much more if they didn't have to pay for me, how anything bad my little sister does she picked up from me, how they've given up sooooo much for me and I'm completely ungrateful because I don't thank them profusely for things like putting me through college, etc. My sister, on the other hand, gets none of this, although they constantly tell her things like how I'm a hypochondriac, how I almost killed her by giving her meningitis (although I never actually had meningitis, but when I told my mom this, she said I purposely gave her the cold that weakened her immune system even though I was 4 at the time), and so on. Add this to all the self esteem issues they gave me by always telling me how much prettier I'd be if I wasn't fat or how I'm way too smart for a guy to ever want anything to do with me, and people wonder why I have issues. Anyhow, has anyone else experienced this type of thing? Do you think there's any truth to what I saw on Malcolm?
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